Author Archives: The Photographer

Just Shoot Me Now

“If I’m still doing this in ten years.” I said in a deadpan serious voice. ” Feel free to shot me.” I felt old ten years ago when I said that, often tired and occasionally exhausted by the work.  Long hours of driving around the country, setting up and tearing down the Studio, eating way

Beginner’s Luck

To be on the wire is life. the rest is waiting. -Bob Fosse “This price is the Stretched Canvas Finish, this is with the Regular Canvas, and this is with the Smooth Matte finish.” I say as I lay out the prices for the portraits the Subject has decided to order. “It just depends on

Would You Like a 16×20 With That?

“You sell a lot of 16x20s.” The Manager says with a bit of surprise. “Get me a 20×24 sample to point at.” I say with a shrug. “And I’ll sell a lot of 20x24s, too.” This is a tad facetious on my part, as I don’t really think I have the inside track to selling larger

Just Following Orders

“Why can’t this one be in the Book?” The Little Old Lady says and points to one of the approval shots.  “I don’t really like that one.” “The one for the Book has to have the same background and the same cropping.”  I say and show her a sample Book where all the portraits look

The Thrill of Victory, The Agony of Defeat

“I don’t want a lot of pictures this time.” The woman says without even sitting down.  “I just need four 5x7s of this one and an 8×10 of that one.” “Ok.” I say and crunch the numbers, I tell her the total and she gives me a credit card. By the end of the day

What We See In The Mirror

“Alright.” I say with a smile in my voice.  “Which one of these two do you like better?” “Ugh!” The white haired, overweight woman says and pushed the proofs away from her.  “I hate all of them.  I don’t even want to be in the book.  I look terrible.” The woman gets up and walks

It’s All About. . .Control

“What are the prices?” The Subject demands as he sits down to look at the proofs. “We’ll get to that in just a couple of minutes.” I say and smile. “First I need to know what you want.” “I can’t tell you what I want unless I know the price.” Being a Passer is just

The Challenges of Training

“So were you planning on buying any portraits today?” I say as I wrap up my poorly memorized sales pitch.  Before they can answer my Trainer pushes me out of the way and takes over. “Hi.” She says with a huge smile.  “What sizes portraits do you normally share?  Is 8×10 big enough or would

It Costs More, Because You Get More

“Why are these pictures so expensive?”  The outraged Subject says after she is told the price of two 5x7s.  “That’s ridiculous.” “Well.” The Passer says in his calm, monotone selling voice. “We are giving the Church a free directory and we also have to pay for our traveling expenses to come out here and take

My Fellow Underachievers

“I live in Ireland about half of the year.” The Subject says and smiles.  “It’s not really a part of Europe.” “Actually, it is.” The Old Timer Assembly Line Portrait Photographer pipes in, always eager to disagree with everyone he meets about virtually anything.  “They joined the European Union back in 1973.” The Subject looks