Author Archives: The Photographer

Pay Me You, Owe Me

“According to my calculations, I didn’t even get paid minimum wage for the last two weeks.” I say to my Area Manager. “You aren’t paid by minimum wage, you’re paid on Salary.  And besides, driving time and setting up and tearing down don’t count anyway.  Only the time the Studio is open counts as work.” […]

Meetings

“This is a Camera” The District Manager pointed as he walked around the sample studio.  “This is a background.  The Subject sits between The Camera and The Background.” Assemble Line Portrait companies, like all corporations, love meetings.  They love to bring out New Ideas.  They love to talk about Teams and Synergy and Customer Service.  […]

Kiddos

“Go away.” The little girl says as I move in close to her and rearrange the props and background. “We’re just going to turn you the other way now.” I say as I lean down to the two year olds level. “Go away.” She says as I move her. “Go away.” Kiddos are the best […]

No Experience Necessary

“I’ve never really done anything like portraits.” I say to the small blond woman sitting across from me at a booth in McDonalds. “But I have been interesting in photography for several years.” “That’s fine.” She says while looking around for the next person she has scheduled to meet for an interview. “We’ll teach you […]

Individuality

“This is the same pose we had last time.” The husband complains as I set them up for the Directory Shot. “Yes it is.” I say with a smile. “And it is likely the same pose you’ll get the next time.” “Why can’t we do something different?” “What did you have in mind?” “I don’t […]

The Hours of Assembly Line Portraits

“Looks like no one is going to show up.” Our Host said in a grumpy voice. “Well, it’s still early yet.” I said and joined him by the door as he looked out on the empty street.  “Sometimes it’s a bit slow around 2 o’clock.” “Maybe that’s because no one is off work at 2 […]

An Empty Room Becomes a Portrait Studio

“Wow, it looks different.” Said the Trainee Passer as she walked into the room while I was tearing down. “Yeah, it used to be a Portrait Studio, and now it’s just a room with some stuff in it.” One of the pitfalls of being a location photographer is that you are always setting up in […]

The Bait and Switch

“I know what your doing.” The Man says as he sits to have his portrait taken. “Your going to try and sell me something.” “Well, our business is selling portraits.” I say with a smile. “Yeah, but that’s not what you told me to get me in here.  You said I was here to have […]

The Missing Lunch Break

“When do you guys take a break for lunch?” Our Hostess asks as she lets her eyes run down the solidly booked appointment sheet. “We just try to eat a little something between sittings.” I say and give her a smile. “Of course, if you want to get us something, we wouldn’t stop you.” “Well, […]

Clothing and The Assembly Line Portrait

“Which blouse looks better? The Red one or the Blue one?” The customer says as she holds the two blouses up in front of her. “I like the Red one.” I say with a shrug. “But it’s up to you.  It’s your portrait.” “I know that, but which one will photograph better?” Assembly Line Portrait […]