Category Archives: Directory Stories

Oh Be Nice!

“Are you ready to take pictures yet?” The eager little old lady says with a bright smile. “If your ready, you can take my picture.” “I’m not ready yet, Ma’am.” I say as I wheel my cart filled with black boxes into the future camera room. “I’ll be ready in about an hour and half […]

The Size of Their Toys

“What kind of a camera is that?” The Man says as he squints to read around the cowling that surrounds my camera. “An Olympus-something or another.” I say as I adjust the lights. “It’s a five megapixel digital camera.” “That’s kind of small these days, isn’t it?” “Well, we’re not using these images to cover […]

Photographer in The Land of The Button Pushers

“I’ve worked at about ten difference portrait companies.” I say as I trade war stories with a fellow photographer. “Done everything from School Year Book pictures, to Senior Portraits, to Big Box stores and Directories.” “I’ve been doing this about ten years.” The Other Photographer says. “But I’ve spent all ten years here.  I plan […]

Do Whatever You Like-As Long It’s Exactly What We Tell You To Do

“You need to be taking more creative portraits.” The Manager says as he looks at some of my recent sittings. “We have to go beyond what we have done in the past.” “I take portraits that I have had luck with in the past.” I say and shrug. “My sales numbers are still OK.” “It’s […]

The Special Needs Assembly Line Portrait

“Should we take him out of the wheelchair?” Mom says as she tilts her head toward her sixteen year old son who is strapped into a specialized wheelchair that swallows his bone thin, yet surprisingly strong body. “The chair is fine.” I say and smile. “Just wheel him over here and we’ll pose the rest […]

Your Pictures Suck

“I can’t sell these pictures your giving me.” The Passer says with her hands on her hips. “I don’t know about you, but I drove all this way to make money.” “Oh?” I say and give her a blank look, having hear this particular Passer bitch and moan about my images before. “What was wrong […]

I’ll take your advice under consideration

“I noticed that you put the large woman in front.” a fellow Assembly Line Portrait Photographer says in his Professor voice after he watches me shoot a sitting. “I would never do that.” “Hmm” I say and finish up the paperwork for the sit. “I also noticed that you don’t turn the women in the […]

Same Old Same Old

“Wow, looks like you’ve done this a few times.” Say Dad as I move smoothly through the Standard Set, giving directions and moving lights. “Nah,” I say with a smile. “Your my second family.” I am pretty much at the top of my game as far as Assembly Line Portraits goes.  I can shoot a […]

Too Much Time On My Hands

“So are you bored?” A Little Old Lady says as she breaks my book reading revivere. “I’m ready to have my picture taken.” “Then I’m not bored anymore.” I say and smile as I set down my book. Reading, talking, listening to the radio where it’s allowed, are all ways to help pass the time.  […]

It’s Always a Question of Time

“Is this going to take long?” Mom says as she rushes in. “We need to be at Practice.” “There’s one family ahead of you.” I say. “It won’t be too long.” “Well, I won’t wait too long.” I’ve had this conversation at every Company I have ever worked for.  Some people live for the thrill […]