Category Archives: Photography

Is It Real?

“I like my pictures to look exactly like the real scene I was looking at.” The Assembly Line Portrait Photographer says as she shows me a picture on her laptop of an alligator. “I don’t like using Photoshop.” “So you mean this alligator was really 13 inches wide and a few millimeters thick and lived […]

Taking Stock and Photographically Speaking

“I don’t think you should be reading that book here.” My Supervisor says when he sees the picture of Buddha on the cover.  “It might offend someone.” “Really?” I say and turn the book around so he can read the title which says Confessions of An Atheist Buddhist. “We’re in a Baptist church, how many […]

Too Good for The Likes of Us

“I just got the Company newsletter.” I say to my Supervisor. “Don’t you think it’s kind of funny that the Company’s Chairman is too good to have his portrait taken by a Company photographer?” “Yup.” He says with a sage nod. “It’s one of those things that makes you go hmmm.” The New Company sends […]

I Love Your Pictures

“That was a great portrait.” The Passer says. “Your lighting is magic.” “Thanks.” I say, thinking she is just one more Passer who has been told to flatter the Photographer. “No, I really mean it.” She says. “Your pictures are beautiful.” Over the past 16 years or so I have learned how to see the […]

Don’t Talk to my Trainees

“So how’s the blogging going?” Says my Supervisor with his usual smirk. “I’m not doing much blogging these days.” I say with a shrug. “I think I’ve run out of things to say.” The two Trainees, who are kids in their twenties, look at me as if they were not completely sure I was a […]

Real Men Don’t Smile For Portraits

“Tilt your head to the left, Sir.” I say for the second or third time.  The man turns his head fractionally to the left. “OK.” I say and smile as I capture an image of the unsmiling man. “That’s good.” Just as some women are afraid of lifting weights because they think five minutes of […]

Giving Directions and Taking My Time

“You’re not taking enough time with these people.” The Passer says as she looks at the stack of three tickets waiting for her to pick up. “They’re all Singles.” I say and shrug. “What am I am supposed to do with them?” “Take more time.” She says as she snatches up a ticket and storms […]

Old Dogs and New

“You need to turn her a little more to the left.” I say in a stage whisper to my Trainee. “Oh. Uh, rotate to the left a little more.” The Trainee says and watches the woman rotate her body.  “That’s good.” “The angle’s good.” I say. “Take the exposure.” Flash! The Trainee trips the camera […]

You Look Marvelous!

“Just look at these portraits.” The Passer says and pulls up a sitting from the young Photographer that she worked with the week before. “There.” “Not bad.” I say as I lean in to look at a group of about twenty-five portraits of a pretty young woman.  Headshots, three quarter lengths, full length, floor poses, […]

What I Should Be Doing

“I’ve only got two days next week.” The Passer says. “How am I supposed to get by on only two days pay?” “Apply for unemployment.” I say and shrug. “Like all the rest of us.” I should be working on my own Shoots.  I should be running ads, handing out business cards, putting a nice […]