Category Archives: Staff

My Fellow Underachievers

“I live in Ireland about half of the year.” The Subject says and smiles.  “It’s not really a part of Europe.” “Actually, it is.” The Old Timer Assembly Line Portrait Photographer pipes in, always eager to disagree with everyone he meets about virtually anything.  “They joined the European Union back in 1973.” The Subject looks […]

Customer Service-You Talkin’ To Me?

“You’re a terrible photographer.” The Woman said with an angry look on her face. “I am very unhappy with these pictures.” “Oh?” I said with a smile and followed her back to the viewing room where the Passer is patiently waiting for the woman to tell me what was wrong with her pictures. “Look at […]

Danger Will Robinson

“This light-head is broken.” My fellow Assembly Line Portrait photographer says as she pulled down a light with a burnt out bulb. “I need to replace this bulb.” “Ok.” I say as I look around in the small storeroom for a spare bulb. Before I can find one, the other Photographer grabs the burnt out […]

The FNGs of Assmebly Line Portraits

“This is easiest job I’ve ever had.” The New Passer says with an arrogant tilt to his head. “I can sell ice cubes to Eskimos, this is going to be a snap” “Really?” I say with a bit of skepticism “You’ve sold portraits before?” “No, but it’s pretty easy so far.” “Ah.” So every once […]

Too Much Time On My Hands

“So are you bored?” A Little Old Lady says as she breaks my book reading revivere. “I’m ready to have my picture taken.” “Then I’m not bored anymore.” I say and smile as I set down my book. Reading, talking, listening to the radio where it’s allowed, are all ways to help pass the time.  […]

Staff is a Four Letter Word

The Worst Subjects are often people who are On Staff.  These are Very Important People-who almost never buy portraits.  These are The Minister, Secretary, Treasurer, Potentate, Grand PooBah, and others who think the world will stop turning if they look the other way. These are often people who want a perfect portrait-for The Book-and look […]