“I’ve made a down payment on my Italian Ice Cart.” The Passer says as he busies himself setting out sample portraits. “I think I’ll be ready to start selling by Spring.”
“And you really think you can sell enough ice cream-I mean Italian Ice-to live on?” I say with a raised eyebrow.
“The website says there are people making a hundred grand a year selling Italian Ice.” He says with a sage nod.
“Yeah, and they’d have no reason to lie, would they?”
The Wife went to a couple of Job Fairs. She got dressed up, practiced her best smile and her firm handshake-and didn’t get a job. Of course, The Wife is kind of like that guy from Say Anything who doesn’t want to sell, manufacture, or process anything and doesn’t want to buy anything that has been manufactured or processed or repair anything that has been manufactured or processed. She didn’t get a job, but she did end up on a couple of mailing lists.
Not long after the Job Fair we started getting mailing from Make Millions At Home companies-all of which sound, to me, to be out and out nuts. Sell Skylights Door to Door. Make Your Own Stained Glass. Learn How To Sell Used Cars. Sell Magic Projectors that Put The Night Sky on Your Ceiling! Really? There was page after page of get rich quick selling weird crap ads-which, of course, you had to pay for before you can start selling.
Maybe people actually make money selling these products, but it seems kind of unlikely.
Not that my own mad schemes to make money are much better. I used to make leaded glass windows, but the cost of the raw materials quickly put me out of business. I sold my Calligraphy once, but it was an art form I never fully mastered. I made silk jewelry once upon a time. I had a small farm and sold a few tomatoes and the like. I have always had this idea of being a paid writer, but have never managed to get paid for much. I have had some success selling Hawaiian Shirts and the like on eBay, but the number aren’t quite large enough.
Then there is the idea of my own portrait business. I have had one Shoot, and I made money-not a lot, but more than I tend to make a day working for The Company. But I have had a hard time finding a second account. After all these years, I tend to think that doing my own Shoots is the only logical thing to do. But then, I do have these fantasies of opening a mobile taco truck.
Of course, a food truck costs a lot of money-one book says about $75,000-and unlike Forrest Gump, money is still one of those things I have to worry about. That is besides the obvious obstacles that I have never been a professional cook, worked in a restaurant, or run a successful business of any type.
The Wife is not fond of the idea of my running my own Photo Business either. She prefers the idea that someone else has to deal with all the serious stuff and I just take the pictures. Honestly, I tend to prefer that as well. But it doesn’t really stop me from thinking about it and crunching a few numbers and saying, you know, I could do this.
At this very moment I am still in Limbo with The New Company. Twice before I worked for The New Company and both times were a complete and total disaster. I never made any commission, not a single day did I make any money. If there is someone with a computer at the New Home Office I have to wonder if they are going through the list looking for former Employees that they don’t need to invite to the new party. If such is the case, I don’t expect to get an invitation.
If all the recent changes are all I have to worry about, than I have panicked for nothing and all will roll along as it has. But I am not at all optimistic about it. They are Borg Collective of Assembly Line Portraits, eating up all of their competition and turning everyone into soulless Borg drones.
So I am thinking about the options for a man my age with few marketable skills and no desire to return to school to learn any new ones. I am thinking of a couple of places I used to work for, but I have never had any luck going back-I instantly remember why I left in the first place. I am thinking of eBay, but that is often more work than it is worth for me, though I have actually made money there, which is more than can be said for the plan of banging out that Novel and hoping it will be a best seller.
In short, I wish I was like the former owner of The Company, I wish my Dad had built something of value that I could run into the ground and then sell off and take the money and run. My Dad wanted to be rich, but like his son, he seemed to lack the drive to do it.
So. . .Anyone interested in buying a wonderful projector that puts the night sky on your ceiling?