Go Slow, Brother, Go Slow

“Why do you stay at this job you know will never get any better?” The former Passer says, tired of listening to me whine about my job.  “You’ve got talent, go out and do something else.” “Talent will only go so far.” I say and sigh. Unions are not as big a deal as they […]


Ten Bucks Is Ten Bucks

“Well, what do you think?” The Passer says as we reach the end of another slow day. “Do you think it’s going to get any better?” “No.” I say and shrug. “I think all of us would be doing something else, if there was anything else to do.” The New Company wants all of us […]


It’s A Major Award. . .

How many photographers does it take to screw in a light bulb? 100.  1 to screw in the light bulb and 99 to stand around and say: “I could have done that.” “It’s my honor to give you this Certificate that states you are a Superior  Photographer for The Company.” The Regional Manager says and […]


Here, There, and Everywhere

“Thanks for letting me work in so many places.” I say to my Manager one day while calling in for supplies. “Any chance I could work in San Fransisco? Or maybe Seattle?” “We didn’t hire you to be a tourist.” The Manager says angrily. “We hired you to take portraits.” This was the same Manager […]


Don’t Let The Door Hit Your Ass

“I hear another one of our photographers quit.” I say to my Supervisor during one of the slow points in the day. “Yeah.” The Supervisor says and shakes his head.  “He’s gone.  I had to go and pick up his studio and he wanted to talk with me, but I had nothing to say to […]


The More Things Change

“Well, we won’t be starting up until late August.”  My soon to be Boss says.  “Do you have a bit of flexibility with The Company your working for now?” “I think that they’ll just let me go when I give my two weeks notice.” I say. Moving from one Company to another is usually easy […]


Come On, How Hard Can It Be?

“I’ve never been good at the Selling part of Assembly Line Portraits.” I tell the fellow who has been my Manager for the past few years, but whose future is now as much up in the air as my own. “I’m not good at selling either.” He said and put on his serious face. “But […]


Is It Real?

“I like my pictures to look exactly like the real scene I was looking at.” The Assembly Line Portrait Photographer says as she shows me a picture on her laptop of an alligator. “I don’t like using Photoshop.” “So you mean this alligator was really 13 inches wide and a few millimeters thick and lived […]


I Do Know Everything, I Just Don’t Know That

“Your telling me you know how you’re going to pose a group of four when they walk in the door?” My fellow Assembly Line Portrait Photographer says in disbelief. “You use the same pose every time?” “Pretty much so.” I say. The Button Pusher part of the New Company Training was dead easy.  So easy […]


Training, ReTraining, and ReReTraining

“We had some Passers in a meeting that said flatly they would never become Photographers.” The sort of, but not really anymore, Boss says.  “They said they knew it might limit their work potential.  Well, duh.” “Yeah, I figure they have about a month left.” I say and shrug. Still hanging in there with The […]