Tag Archives: assembly line work

If It’s Good Enough for David LaChapelle

“Hey guys, I found some great new videos.” The Boss says with his best telemarketer’s smile. “I think everyone here should buy one.” “If it’s that great.” I say. “Why don’t you buy it for us?” “These videos are for your benefit.” He says and nods sagely. “Don’t you want to improve as a photographer?” […]

Danger Will Robinson

“This light-head is broken.” My fellow Assembly Line Portrait photographer says as she pulled down a light with a burnt out bulb. “I need to replace this bulb.” “Ok.” I say as I look around in the small storeroom for a spare bulb. Before I can find one, the other Photographer grabs the burnt out […]

The Size of Their Toys

“What kind of a camera is that?” The Man says as he squints to read around the cowling that surrounds my camera. “An Olympus-something or another.” I say as I adjust the lights. “It’s a five megapixel digital camera.” “That’s kind of small these days, isn’t it?” “Well, we’re not using these images to cover […]

Brave New World

“A monkey can do this job.” the Manager says as we chat between sits on a slow Shoot. “All you have to do is show up and follow the Manual.” “I think there’s a little more to it than that.” I say, not that fond of being compared to a monkey. “Not much more.” The […]

Getting Repeatable Results

“Anything goes.” The Regional Manager said with an expansive wave of his hands. “We are no longer going to force you to blindly follow a set of standard poses.” Silence fills the room of Assembly Line Portrait Photographers, many of whom have never done any other kind of work, none of whom are excited by […]

Do Whatever You Like-As Long It’s Exactly What We Tell You To Do

“You need to be taking more creative portraits.” The Manager says as he looks at some of my recent sittings. “We have to go beyond what we have done in the past.” “I take portraits that I have had luck with in the past.” I say and shrug. “My sales numbers are still OK.” “It’s […]

Assembly Line Portraits Backgrounds

“Can we have the background of The Beach at Sunset?” Dad says with a laugh. “Or maybe up in the mountains somewhere?” “Nah.” I say as I change the Blue Old Masters Background to a solid black background. “I think what you really need is the one with the Bookshelves.” Most of the Assembly Line […]

Tips on Assembly Line Portraits

“I want to be a Portrait Photographer when I grow up.” The smiling young woman told me as I posed her. “It’s not too late to change your mind.” I said with a smile. Portrait Photography is all about Rules-following them and knowing when to break them.  Like any other skill position, there are basics […]

What’s Our Mission Again?

Starbucks-Our mission: to inspire and nurture the human spirit – one person, one cup and one neighborhood at a time. Microsoft-At Microsoft, our mission and values are to help people and businesses throughout the world realize their full potential. Google-Google’s mission is to organize the world’s information and make it universally accessible and useful. Olan […]

The Assembly Line Photogragher and New Tech

“I don’t need any more pictures.” The Customer said with a wave of his hand. “I’ll just scan the free one when I get it and make my own copies.” My current Assembly Line Portrait work is done in Churches, taking portraits for Directories.   This is near perfect Assembly Line work, or at least, it […]