Tag Archives: assembly line

Beginner’s Luck

To be on the wire is life. the rest is waiting. -Bob Fosse “This price is the Stretched Canvas Finish, this is with the Regular Canvas, and this is with the Smooth Matte finish.” I say as I lay out the prices for the portraits the Subject has decided to order. “It just depends on […]

Would You Like a 16×20 With That?

“You sell a lot of 16x20s.” The Manager says with a bit of surprise. “Get me a 20×24 sample to point at.” I say with a shrug. “And I’ll sell a lot of 20x24s, too.” This is a tad facetious on my part, as I don’t really think I have the inside track to selling larger […]

The Challenges of Training

“So were you planning on buying any portraits today?” I say as I wrap up my poorly memorized sales pitch.  Before they can answer my Trainer pushes me out of the way and takes over. “Hi.” She says with a huge smile.  “What sizes portraits do you normally share?  Is 8×10 big enough or would […]

It Costs More, Because You Get More

“Why are these pictures so expensive?”  The outraged Subject says after she is told the price of two 5x7s.  “That’s ridiculous.” “Well.” The Passer says in his calm, monotone selling voice. “We are giving the Church a free directory and we also have to pay for our traveling expenses to come out here and take […]

When The Student Is Ready

Photography workshops have been around pretty much as long as there have been cameras.  They are often held in cool places like Santa Fe, Maine, and Paris.  They are usually run by famous photographers.  Part of the fun of these workshops is going to cool places and meeting cool people.  The major drawback is the […]

You Have A Bad Attitude

“You need to change your attitude.”  My Manager says.  “You’re not one of my better photographers and I’m not going to be working you.” After almost 17 years of taking Assembly Line Portraits it seems that the end is finally close at hand.  I still enjoy taking portraits and I’m still good at it.  My […]

Go Slow, Brother, Go Slow

“Why do you stay at this job you know will never get any better?” The former Passer says, tired of listening to me whine about my job.  “You’ve got talent, go out and do something else.” “Talent will only go so far.” I say and sigh. Unions are not as big a deal as they […]

Ten Bucks Is Ten Bucks

“Well, what do you think?” The Passer says as we reach the end of another slow day. “Do you think it’s going to get any better?” “No.” I say and shrug. “I think all of us would be doing something else, if there was anything else to do.” The New Company wants all of us […]

It’s A Major Award. . .

How many photographers does it take to screw in a light bulb? 100.  1 to screw in the light bulb and 99 to stand around and say: “I could have done that.” “It’s my honor to give you this Certificate that states you are a Superior  Photographer for The Company.” The Regional Manager says and […]

Here, There, and Everywhere

“Thanks for letting me work in so many places.” I say to my Manager one day while calling in for supplies. “Any chance I could work in San Fransisco? Or maybe Seattle?” “We didn’t hire you to be a tourist.” The Manager says angrily. “We hired you to take portraits.” This was the same Manager […]