Tag Archives: assembly line

Don’t Let The Door Hit Your Ass

“I hear another one of our photographers quit.” I say to my Supervisor during one of the slow points in the day. “Yeah.” The Supervisor says and shakes his head.  “He’s gone.  I had to go and pick up his studio and he wanted to talk with me, but I had nothing to say to […]

The More Things Change

“Well, we won’t be starting up until late August.”  My soon to be Boss says.  “Do you have a bit of flexibility with The Company your working for now?” “I think that they’ll just let me go when I give my two weeks notice.” I say. Moving from one Company to another is usually easy […]

Come On, How Hard Can It Be?

“I’ve never been good at the Selling part of Assembly Line Portraits.” I tell the fellow who has been my Manager for the past few years, but whose future is now as much up in the air as my own. “I’m not good at selling either.” He said and put on his serious face. “But […]

Is It Real?

“I like my pictures to look exactly like the real scene I was looking at.” The Assembly Line Portrait Photographer says as she shows me a picture on her laptop of an alligator. “I don’t like using Photoshop.” “So you mean this alligator was really 13 inches wide and a few millimeters thick and lived […]

I Do Know Everything, I Just Don’t Know That

“Your telling me you know how you’re going to pose a group of four when they walk in the door?” My fellow Assembly Line Portrait Photographer says in disbelief. “You use the same pose every time?” “Pretty much so.” I say. The Button Pusher part of the New Company Training was dead easy.  So easy […]

Training, ReTraining, and ReReTraining

“We had some Passers in a meeting that said flatly they would never become Photographers.” The sort of, but not really anymore, Boss says.  “They said they knew it might limit their work potential.  Well, duh.” “Yeah, I figure they have about a month left.” I say and shrug. Still hanging in there with The […]

The Days Wind Down To A Precious Few

“Aren’t you going to tear down the Studio for me?” My former Manager says as I wrap up shooting the last sitting I will ever shoot in the Big Box Store. “Why should I?” I say and shrug. But then take a deep breath and go through the fairly simple process of taking down the […]

You’ve Been Living in a Dream World, Neo

“The rumor is that The New Company is going to fire everyone at The Plant.” I say to my Supervisor in our ongoing talk about the New World Order of Assembly Line Portraits. “Well, I don’t believe that.” He says with a snort. “Why would they buy all this stuff if they weren’t planning on […]

Too Good for The Likes of Us

“I just got the Company newsletter.” I say to my Supervisor. “Don’t you think it’s kind of funny that the Company’s Chairman is too good to have his portrait taken by a Company photographer?” “Yup.” He says with a sage nod. “It’s one of those things that makes you go hmmm.” The New Company sends […]

I Love Your Pictures

“That was a great portrait.” The Passer says. “Your lighting is magic.” “Thanks.” I say, thinking she is just one more Passer who has been told to flatter the Photographer. “No, I really mean it.” She says. “Your pictures are beautiful.” Over the past 16 years or so I have learned how to see the […]