Tag Archives: portrait photographers

Leaving The Fold

“I got a bad mark for not being a Team Player!” an ex-Assembly Line Portrait Photographer says with disbelief. “When were you ever a Team Player?” I say with a smile. Being an Assembly Line Portrait photographer pretty much ruins you for any other kind of work.  Well, except maybe being a Security Guard.  We […]

Zen and The Assembly Line Portrait

“Wow, that was a good shot.” Dad says as I capture his two year old daughter smiling and clapping her hands. “She’s a cute kiddo.” I say and smile. I read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance several years ago and I really liked it.  Might have something to do with my own mild […]

No Longer Among The Favored Few

“You know we can all do good if we are put someplace where we have a chance.” The Passer says and purses her lips.   “I don’t care who they put here, they wouldn’t do any good.” “They should at least share the wealth once in a while.” I say. “I don’t mind there only being […]

Passers Who Think They’re Photographers

“I’ve been a photographer for 47 years.” The old man with the toothless grin tells me. “It took three weeks to become a great photographer, but it took me three years to become a great Passer.” “Really?” I say and take a deep breath. “I bet I took your baby picture.” The Passer goes on […]

The Busy Time of The Year

The end of August until the beginning of December is usually the busy time for Assembly Line Portraits.  It’s a little cooler, so people aren’t sweating and uncomfortable as they are in the summer.  But it’s not so cold that everyone has to bundle up and crush their clothes as if they are going on […]

If It’s Good Enough for David LaChapelle

“Hey guys, I found some great new videos.” The Boss says with his best telemarketer’s smile. “I think everyone here should buy one.” “If it’s that great.” I say. “Why don’t you buy it for us?” “These videos are for your benefit.” He says and nods sagely. “Don’t you want to improve as a photographer?” […]

Wanderlust

“You drove this wreck here from Texas?” The Coordinator says as he looks at my ten year old pickup truck sitting in his California parking lot. “Yeah.” I say and give the hood a loving pat. “By way of Maine.” At the moment I am doing Directory Work and spending a lot less time in […]

Paid on Comission

“When you get 60 percent of the people on the list to come in and have their portraits taken-we pay you 10 percent commission.  If you can get 90% of the people on the list to come in, we pay you 35% commission.” The Manager smiled his best used car salesman smile and winked.  “That’s […]

When Was The Last Time You Had A Portrait?

“I hate having my picture taken.” The woman says as she sits down. “When was the last time you had a portrait taken?” I say as position the camera. “About five years.” She says. “Whenever the last time we had directory was.” “Then you should be happy that you only have to suffer every five […]

That’s a Joke, Son

“What do you call a dog with no legs?” I say as I try to get the couple to smile. “Unlucky.” The man says. “Doesn’t matter, he won’t come anyway.” I capture an image, but it is not really all that good. I’m kind of a minimalist portrait photographer-I spent only a few minutes with […]