Tag Archives: sittings

There’s No “I” In Team

“When he turned in his notice, the Boss didn’t even ask him to stay.” The Passer says with a shake of her head.  “I always liked working with him.” “I only worked with him once.” I say and shrug. “He was fun to talk to, but he took even less time with the Subjects than […]

Leaving The Fold

“I got a bad mark for not being a Team Player!” an ex-Assembly Line Portrait Photographer says with disbelief. “When were you ever a Team Player?” I say with a smile. Being an Assembly Line Portrait photographer pretty much ruins you for any other kind of work.  Well, except maybe being a Security Guard.  We […]

Zen and The Assembly Line Portrait

“Wow, that was a good shot.” Dad says as I capture his two year old daughter smiling and clapping her hands. “She’s a cute kiddo.” I say and smile. I read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance several years ago and I really liked it.  Might have something to do with my own mild […]

Hell, it could be my fault

“I’m very unhappy about the way things went today.” The Coordinator says in a stern voice. “I don’t like the way you treated our people.” “I’m sorry.” I say, not exactly sure why she is unhappy. “I’m also unhappy with my own portraits.” She continues. “And that was the only time we had to come […]

The Busy Time of The Year

The end of August until the beginning of December is usually the busy time for Assembly Line Portraits.  It’s a little cooler, so people aren’t sweating and uncomfortable as they are in the summer.  But it’s not so cold that everyone has to bundle up and crush their clothes as if they are going on […]

Paid on Comission

“When you get 60 percent of the people on the list to come in and have their portraits taken-we pay you 10 percent commission.  If you can get 90% of the people on the list to come in, we pay you 35% commission.” The Manager smiled his best used car salesman smile and winked.  “That’s […]

When Was The Last Time You Had A Portrait?

“I hate having my picture taken.” The woman says as she sits down. “When was the last time you had a portrait taken?” I say as position the camera. “About five years.” She says. “Whenever the last time we had directory was.” “Then you should be happy that you only have to suffer every five […]

Danger Will Robinson

“This light-head is broken.” My fellow Assembly Line Portrait photographer says as she pulled down a light with a burnt out bulb. “I need to replace this bulb.” “Ok.” I say as I look around in the small storeroom for a spare bulb. Before I can find one, the other Photographer grabs the burnt out […]

Stealing Food From My Mouth

“Please stop that.” I say to the teenage girl standing behind me with her cellphone held up to snap a picture. “Why?” she says, honestly confused that I don’t want her to take photos of her parents after I have posed and positioned them. “Do you eat candy out of bins before you weight it?” […]

In The Beginning II

“Did you need special training to become a photographer?”  The Little Girl says as I set up the shot of her family. “Nah, I just found an ad that said No Experience Necessary and I thought, Hey, I got no experience.” I smile as I give my usual answer. “I’d like to be a photographer […]