The Missing Lunch Break

“When do you guys take a break for lunch?” Our Hostess asks as she lets her eyes run down the solidly booked appointment sheet.

“We just try to eat a little something between sittings.” I say and give her a smile. “Of course, if you want to get us something, we wouldn’t stop you.”

“Well, I was going to get you a pizza, but the Marketing Rep told me not to get you anything.  Was he wrong about that?”

“Some people buy us a pizza, or they make us a little something, like cold cuts and the like.  You don’t have to feed us, but it would be a nice thing to do.”

“Right, then what would you like? I’ll call in the order as soon as you let me know.”

I always bring a sandwich to work with me.  We don’t get a lunch break, or any kind of break, as we officially only work six hours a day.  During those six hours we can have as many 40 sittings.  We might also have to shown up two hours before the first appointment to set up and remain thirty minutes to an hour after the last customer has left tearing the studio down again.  If it is a ‘local’ account, we might have to drive for an hour both ways.  If it is not local, we might have driven three or four hours before we came in to set up.

That means we can get a bit peckish around 6 o’clock.  Like anyone else, we don’t turn down free food, though we are discouraged from actively requesting it.   This has not stopped me from dropping the occasional hint that food and drink would be a nice thing.

I have worked with people who have not quite figured out the whole subtlety part of asking for a free meal.  They tend to walk up to the Hostess and say something like-When are we getting our pizza?

The best account I ever shot was a very upscale church in a very upscale neighborhood.  They had a table set up in the waiting room filled with  cookies, sodas, water, fruit juices, fruit trays, and a coffee pot that was always full.  We were welcome to help ourselves, which is not always the case.

When it came time for dinner they came into our rooms and asked what we would like-Deli? Hamburger? Pizza? Salad?  On Saturdays, our only early start day, they went and got us Starbucks.  On top of that they Spent a Ton of Money on Portraits.

The last few days The Worst Passer was with me at this Dream Church.  The last day, we were busy and the Hostess came and told us she was just going to get us a pizza from across the street.  I said, Sure, Whatever, Thank You.

“I don’t want a pizza.” The Worst Passer said with a pout. “I want Jason’s Deli.”

“But that’s on the other side of town.” The Hostess said. “The pizza place is right over there.”

“No.  A pizza is too heavy.” Said the less than slim Worst Passer. “And your going to get us Starbucks, right?  I want a Frappuccino, double blended with a shot.”

The Hostess, the other Passer, and I stared at her with our mouths open.  The Hostess shook her head and walked out the door.  She returned about an hour later with a bag from Jason’s Deli and three coffees from Starbucks.

“Here’s your food.” She said and sit the bag down on a table with an angry thump.  She then handed me a large Frappuccino, the other Passer a large coffee, and The Worst Passer the smallest Frappuccino I have ever seen.  I didn’t know they made them that small.

I am sure that we will never shoot that account again, because you just can’t be nice to some people.  You can be nice to me though, and I like my pizza with everything-except anchovies.