Unhappy Customers
“This is total bullshit!” Mom yells in the middle of the Big Box Store when I take the person who has their paperwork filled out ahead of her. “I was here first!”
“Fill out your paperwork and by the time your done I’ll be ready to take your daughter’s portrait.” I say as I lead the customer who can read back to have her portrait taken.
“This is bullshit!” Mom screams again and storms off. Bullshit was clearly a new word for her and she really loved using it.
I finished taking the portraits quickly and went back to look for the angry woman. She was no where to be seen, so I started tearing down the studio for the night. I left up the Camera and Lights, just packed up the props and displays.
“Is there some problem here?” The Store Manager asks.
“None that I’m aware of.” I say and smile at her.
“This lady is unhappy that she didn’t get her portrait taken.” The Manger says as angery Mom looks pleased as she thinks I am in trouble-The Big Box Store Manger is nothing to me.
“Do you have your paperwork filled out?” I say to the Angry Mom, she thrusts it toward me.
I zip through a set of portraits of the Angry Mom’s teenage daughter as the Store Manager tells the Angry Mom that there will no sitting fee for her pictures. I do the usual thanks for coming and have a good day parting.
Once they leave I tear up her paperwork and put it in the trash. I then shoot a slate that says VOID LAST SITTING.
It used to be easy for the Assembly Line Portrait photographer to exact revenge on unruly, rude, and often downright nasty customers. We could make all the photos out of focus, cut off everyone’s head, void sittings, and the customer would just never get a notice to view thier now nonesistant portraits.
In the age of Digitial Instant Viewing it is still possible to put an unflatering pose in The Directory, Delete the Images before they are sent to The Lab, and generally be small and petty to people who are rude to The Photographer. But it really isn’t worth the effort anymore. Except for those rare times when someone yells in my face or threatens me with physical violence. Which has happened once or twice over the years.
“Alright Sir, have a sit here.” I point at a stool and a little boy of about ten hops up on the stool. “Not you, the Big Sir, hop down, Kiddo.”
“What did you say?” Dad asks me. “Did you tell him to get off that stool? Listen to me, if he needs to be told anything, I’ll tell him. You got that?”
This guy got up in my face and triggered my fight response. He complained to his wife about my telling his kids to do something, so when it came time to pose the little angels, I looked at Dad and said-“Tell the boys to stand wherever you want them to stand, Dad.”
I got kicked off that Shoot and it was as close as I have come to knocking someone’s block off since I was in grade school. An Assemble Line Portrait Studio has all kinds of things laying around that would make really good weopons.
Some people love to walk around with a chip on their shoulder-they love to bitch and moan about anything and everything. Why aren’t you going by the Appointment Times? Why are you going by the Appointment Times? Why are you taking so many pictures? Why didn’t you take more pictures? I don’t like these unnatural poses. I wasn’t posed enough. These are all the common complaints and they don’t mean anything, for the most part they are just standard excuses not to buy portraits. The people who want to fight with you are a whole other matter-they are total Bullshit.
I told someone the story about The Unhappy Mom and her Voided Sitting and they said-“Wouldn’t that have made her even more unhappy?”
“I certainly hope so.” I say with a smile.