Low Man on The Assembly Line Totem Pole

“Why don’t you pay your Photographers commission?” I say to the white haired owner of the Company.

“I don’t understand how people can expect to be paid for work someone else does.” He says and shakes his head.  “Our Passers do a great job and they earn their sales commissions.”

The next week I shot the worse portraits that I could manage and the sales went through the floor.

“What happened?” The Owner says as he looks over the sales numbers for my Camera that week. “The Passer said your pictures were terrible.”

“You told me your Passers could sell anything.  I guess they just fell down on the job.”

Most Assembly Line Portrait Companies have three Parts-The Photographers, The Passers, and The Marketers/Pre-Sellers.  There is also another part-Management, but since they never do any work, they don’t really count.

Of the Three, the Photographers are often paid the least, have the least chance of making money, and have the responsibility of creating the actual product that The Company Sells.  But The Company thinks anyone, and I mean anyone, can take the pictures.   It takes skill to Book Shoots and Sell Portraits.

I was the Big Fish in the Small Pond at this Assembly Line Portraits company-I had just come from the big time working at the Big Box Store.  I had been trained for two intensive weeks.  All the rules and guidelines and uses of props had been drilled into me-and still rely on a good deal of that initial training to this day.  So I knew how to take Assembly Line Portraits-which is a lot more than could be said for my four or five co-workers who knew next to nothing about taking portraits.

For my vast experience I would receive the occasional Employee of The Month plaque and a princely sum of one to three dollars per sitting I shot.  Yes, I was doing mill work-one dollar for posing groups up to ten with complete breakdown poses for parents, kids, brother, sisters, and mothers and daughters and fathers with sons.  This was where that whole speed issue really came into play-the more you shoot, the more you make.  And the sooner you get to go home.

My portraits soon became the bestselling and the Passers made the most money when they followed me.  I, of course, being a lowly Photographer, got no sales commission.   My commission was based on how many of the people who were sold portraits actually came in to have their portraits taken.  This was, of course, total bullshit.

Yet I stayed there for a something over a year.   It was good for ego to always be the best Photographer, to always be the Trainer, to always give advice to the poor saps that didn’t know the difference between Landscape and Portrait, let alone the difference between Low Key and High Key or what a lighting ration was.

I also had all the toys to play with I wanted.  As many lights as I could carry.  As many light modifiers as I could carry.  A wide array of Gels.  Lots of props.  Having come from The Big Box Store where you could shoot as many pictures as you wanted-but The Lab would only ever print five, it was amazing to take twenty shots and see them all roll into the office.

But the money sucked.  Big Time.

During one of the endless lulls that is the nature of Directory Work, I went back to this Company and actually worked most of a week before walking off.  The working conditions were so bad and the equipment was such total shit  that it was literally held together with duct tape-I remembered with sudden vivid detail why I had quit the first time.

Being a professional Assembly Line Portraits Photographer is kind of like being a Line Cook at Wendys or a Costume Designer for a High School Drama Group.  The general idea is that this is a Starter Job and you will move onto a Real Job someday.  The result is that no one who gets the job takes it very seriously and there is no respect for those of us who do.

Being an Assembly Line Portrait Photographer sucks?  Well, Duh.

The current Company is not that bad when compared to those I have worked for in the past.  Of course, there are now a lot of dead Companies that have gone onto to greater glory now that they are gone.  American Studios, PCA, Church Impressions, and many other Assembly Line Portraits companies are gone, but live on in the memories of those that worked for them in Glory Days stories of when we all made real money doing this job.

The Photographer was still the low man on those totem poles.  The Company of the moment actually pays the Passer and The Photographer the same rate-though those bastard Presellers still play their own rules and gum up the works.

It’s just good to stop once in a while and remember the bad old days-Assembly Line Portraits is a business that is on the way out, so I have to enjoy the ride while it lasts.