“And Ansel Adams, and I spent a bit of time with Avedon before he took himself so seriously.” The bald and slightly round Assembly Line Portrait Photographer says as he fiddles with the shutter of a Hasselblad. “Really?” I say, not believing a word of it. “Yes, really.” He says and gives me a level …
“We have been able to Grade the Passers for years by checking their Sales Averages and Frame Counts.” The Manager say to the small group of Photographers in this meeting. “Now we are going to be able to do the same thing with the Photographers. We have a new system in place to Grade the …
“So what your saying is that we should change the way we do business to suit you?” The Manger says as he reads over a letter I wrote him with a number of suggestions on how we might improve our business. “Instead of-you just doing what everyone else is doing?” “Well, I think this would be …
“You see how I used the Rule of Thirds in this portrait?” I say to the Trainee as I point out how the Subject’s face is under the upper left intersection of where the four grid lines on the monitor cross. “Yeah.” He says doubtfully. “And that’s good? Shouldn’t it be centered?” “If we …
“I want you to give a couple of training classes to the other Photographers.” The Manager/Owner says as he leans back in his chair behind his big desk. “Share some of what you know and how you learned to take such good portraits.” “Ok.” I say. “What would you like me to tell them?” “Whatever …
“We’ve got a new set guidelines we want you to follow.” The Manger says with as much enthusiasm as he can muster. “Here are the details.” “Hmm.” I look over the list and I am already doing everything it suggests. “I am already do everything listed here.” “Well, you could do it better.” The world …
“I’ve never seen any of the other Photographers use this many lights.” The Passer says as she looks at the extra light heads I have setting around the Studio. “I like to have a little more control over how my images look.” I say “Well, I can’t see much difference. Except for the backgrounds.” Some …
The slow times of the year are good times to look at what other jobs are out there. Everyone I work with talks with longing about the good old days of two or three years ago and how they need to find something else to do. Many of my fellow Assembly Line Portrait workers have …
“I was at this motel last night.” The New Guy says in a conspirator’s tone. “And it was run by Indians.” “Really?” I say in mock surprise. “Yeah, and not Native Americans, like East India Indians.” He says. “Hmm, don’t travel much, do you?” Just as every town in America has a Chinese family running …
“Any photograph can be improved if you just add a naked woman to it.” The slightly eccentric Assembly Line Portrait Photographer says. “A car, a cityscape, anything will look better with a naked woman added.” “Hmm.” I say as I try to think of something clever to say. Not too far away one of the …