“I don’t burn CDs at home because I don’t think my battery will last that long.” The grumpy old Assembly Line Portrait Photographer says. “Yeah, these batteries suck.” I say, not raising to the bait that it makes no sense to run the laptop on battery power. “Most people ask-Why don’t you just plug the …
“Are you ready to take pictures yet?” The eager little old lady says with a bright smile. “If your ready, you can take my picture.” “I’m not ready yet, Ma’am.” I say as I wheel my cart filled with black boxes into the future camera room. “I’ll be ready in about an hour and half …
“I got a bad mark for not being a Team Player!” an ex-Assembly Line Portrait Photographer says with disbelief. “When were you ever a Team Player?” I say with a smile. Being an Assembly Line Portrait photographer pretty much ruins you for any other kind of work. Well, except maybe being a Security Guard. We …
“Wow, that was a good shot.” Dad says as I capture his two year old daughter smiling and clapping her hands. “She’s a cute kiddo.” I say and smile. I read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance several years ago and I really liked it. Might have something to do with my own mild …
“You know we can all do good if we are put someplace where we have a chance.” The Passer says and purses her lips. “I don’t care who they put here, they wouldn’t do any good.” “They should at least share the wealth once in a while.” I say. “I don’t mind there only being …
“I want you to see something.” A large man with an iPhone in his hand tells me. “Look at this.” “Nice.” I say as I look at his perfectly framed and amazingly clear image of the rusty cars in the setting sun. “I used to have a fancy camera.” He says nodding at my Digital …
“I’m very unhappy about the way things went today.” The Coordinator says in a stern voice. “I don’t like the way you treated our people.” “I’m sorry.” I say, not exactly sure why she is unhappy. “I’m also unhappy with my own portraits.” She continues. “And that was the only time we had to come …
“I’ve been a photographer for 47 years.” The old man with the toothless grin tells me. “It took three weeks to become a great photographer, but it took me three years to become a great Passer.” “Really?” I say and take a deep breath. “I bet I took your baby picture.” The Passer goes on …
“I just found out that this Church is doing a Dave Ramsey Program.” The Passer said with a snarl. “I hate Dave Ramsey, I really do.” “I’m not that crazy about him myself.” I say as I watch the next Nonbuyer walk up to waste our time. Whenever times are hard and money is in …
The end of August until the beginning of December is usually the busy time for Assembly Line Portraits. It’s a little cooler, so people aren’t sweating and uncomfortable as they are in the summer. But it’s not so cold that everyone has to bundle up and crush their clothes as if they are going on …