The Ice Breaker
“So where’s a good place to eat around here?” I say while I am shooting in Lewiston, Maine.
“The Olive Garden’s pretty good.” The Husband says.
Everyone eats, so asking about a good place to eat is an easy way to get people talking. I found Governor‘s to be my favorite place to eat in Lewiston, no disrespect to Olive Garden, but I can eat at Oliver Garden anywhere. And yet it is pretty common to get answers of Cheddars, Chili’s, Red Lobster, Abblebees, and other random national chains when you ask about the best local food. But I keep asking, and I get names like Captain Nick’s in Bangor, Maine and La Casa in Omaha, Nebraska-home of one of the best pizzas I have ever eaten.
“So, how old are you?” I say to a girl of about 12. “Twenty-five? Thirty?”
“No.” She says in an exaggerated what a dumb question style.
“Oh, then you must be about five or six?”
“I’m twelve.” She says and stomps her foot.
“Ah, well, I was close than, huh?”
I’m not big on the Patter, I’m more of a sit down and do what I say kind of Assembly Line Portrait Photographer. My Manager often makes me an example of how not to act-that all I do is issue orders where I should be making requests. Some photographers I’ve worked with like to have long conversations with their subjects-they talk Politics, Family, The Weather.
Talking about Politics just pisses people off and talking about anything else-well, it gets people talking. I don’t need to have any long conversations with people. I don’t want to hear their life stories. I don’t care how long they’ve been members of the church, lived in the area, or pretty much anything else about them. I don’t need to know anything about them and pictures of people turning red over The President (any President) or with them talking with their mouths wide open don’t make good portraits.
I so just say a few things as they walk into the room and them snap the photos. Also the Proof Passer needs to have something to talk about to the Customer, so I don’t want them to have to repeat everything they have already told me.
Some people have never been to an Assembly Line Portrait Studio before and they expect to have a chat about clothing choices and posing options and backgrounds and lighting. So it’s always a bit of a shock to them when I just say, what your wearing looks good and we’re ready to go whenever you are. Some people don’t like any Photo Session that lasts less than a day, but we can’t please everyone.
“So what’s the Big Fun around here?” I say in a small town near Pittsburgh.
“Well, we like going to The Strip in Pittsburgh.” The Host says. “There’s not much to do here.”
I have been surprised from time to time though and I have seen Viking Hieroglyphs in Heavener, Oklahoma and The Little House on the Prairie in Independence, Kansas. I’ve also been warned not to waste my time on things like the Meteor Crater in Abilene, Texas and varied and sundry other local attractions. It seems that every place has some odd little item that they think is worthy of being a Tourist Attraction. Most of them are not.
“What kind of camera is that?” The Old Man says as he peers at my camera.
“It’s a Nikon.” I say and smile. “It’s a digital something or another, works pretty good.”
Mostly men are interested in the camera stuff, and they often have stories about awards they won when they were in school or how they used to have a darkroom or how much they love their new digital camera. This is a topic that I know a bit about and I can usually speak with some level of competence. Some of the people surprise me with their knowledge, though I find actual photographers to be nothing but a bother-they seldom buy portraits. Photography is usually a good ice breaker-but don’t talk about portraits. That usually just brings up the memory of how much they hated the last portrait they had taken. So I seldom bring it up myself.
The idea is to get the Customer comfortable so they will relax and make a good portrait that they will want to buy for all their family, friends, and random people they meet on the street. Sometimes it works, sometimes they are grumpy and nothing you say will improve their mood. Most of the time I just bring them and give them directions. Shut up and Smile. 🙂